Time for a little humor........

[Telman2]

God said, Adam, I Want you to do Something for Me.​

Adam said, Gladly, Lord, what do You Want me to do?​

God said, Go down Into that valley.​

Adam said, What's a Valley? ​

God explained it to Him Then God said, Cross the river.
Adam said, What's a River?
God explained that To him, and then said, Go over to the hill....​

Adam said, What is a Hill?
So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, On
The other side of the Hill you will find a Cave.​

Adam said, What's a Cave?​

After God explained, He said, In the cave You will find a woman.​

Adam said, What's a Woman? ​

So God explained That to him, too. Then, God said, I
Want you to Reproduce.​

Adam said, How do I do that? ​

God first said (under His breath), Geez....​

And then, just like Everything else, God Explained that to
Adam, as well. So, Adam goes down Into the valley,
Across the river, and Over the hill, into the
Cave, and finds the Woman.
Then, in about five Minutes, he was back.​

God, His patience Wearing thin, said Angrily, What is it Now? ​

​

And Adam said....​

"What's a headache?"​

 

[crossingts]

Sounds about right!!!!

 

[Todd]

pass the advil :lol:

 

[HAceT]

That is good.....

I seem to remember one like that

A man tired of being turned down by his wife went to a bar....
After he thought his wife was asleep he returned home....
he sneaks quietly into the kitchen and gets opens a cabinet..
he then sneaks into the bathroom and removes all his clothes....
he crawls softly into the bed beside his wife....
He places something into her mouth which she immediatley awoke...
She spits and said "What the heck was that!"...
He replied 2 asprin..
She said "I don't have no da@# headache!"...
He replied "Good... you want to f@ck".....

 

[LumenAl]

a little more humor... (Must Read!)

A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a 'handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

'Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,' he said, ''How much will you charge me?'

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, 'How about $50?'

The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, 'Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?'

He responded, 'That's a bit cynical, isn't it?'

The wife replied, 'You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately.'

Later that day, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

'You're finished already?' the startled husband asked.

'Yes' the blonde replied 'and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.'

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a ten dollar tip.

'And by the way, ' the blonde added, 'it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus.

 

[HAceT]

:lol::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Since that bieng said I have to tell you about my blonde sister...

Coulpe years ago she worked at a small bank around here and I just started working for the Sheriff's Office. It was Halloween and I decided to give her a call. We talked for several seconds and she then pops up saying that everyone at work has dressed up. I asked her how she dressed and she said as a witch. I laughed since she is to sweet to be a witch. Well I had to test the blonde waters so I told her that we got to dress up too....She asked "really" all excited. I said yes. I told her that I dressed up as a Deputy. She said "thats so neat that we were allowed to dress up"........Well I waited for several seconds for it to sink in and then she got mad. The call was ended shortly after that.:lol:

Of course if she finds out I posted that then all my calls to her will be short for now on. Sorry sis. I still love ya

 

[HAceT]

:lol::rofl::rofl::rofl:

 

[LumenAl]

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said
"You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night.
He returned around 2:30 am, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling,

he did as she directed.

"Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

"Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the firelight.

"Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said:
"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!"

 

[Telman2]

Back in 1990, the Government seized the Mustang Ranch Brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and, as required by law, tried to run it.
They failed and it closed.
Now we are trusting the economy of our country and our banking system to the same nit wits who couldn't make money running a whore house and selling whiskey.

 

[Telman2]

The following is a true story shared by KC Williams who teaches Government at Santa Fe High School. In one of KC's classes, they were discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States. It was pretty simple.

The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.

KC and the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating: "What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by c-section?"

And someday she'll vote!