Jimbo, some of what you've pointed out is more down to the political games NHRA plays, more than anything else. The Don has ruffled more than his share of feathers, which means he gets more than his share of static back. He needs to learn to get as good as he gives, but when he's spending the dollars he is, he feels he should be held above reproach.
Remember Schumacher's 4th qualifying pass at the 2006 World Finals? The car was leaking fluid, Rick Stewart signaled him to shut it off and Schumacher ignored him. Rick is a really friendly guy. He once paid me a compliment on the starting line and I'll never forget it. But there's the difference between Rick Stewart and Buster Couch. Buster was a great guy too (I called him my grandpa, if you can imagine), but when you took a car to Buster's starting line, you damn well better know that was Buster's starting line. If he told you to shut off, you shut off, else he would reach into the car and drag you out of it.
How about Schumacher's wee rant when he got dumped from the Shootout, for not stopping to weigh?
I've got news for the Schumachers - if you win a round, you stop at the scales. If you pick up during qualifying, you stop at the scales. if you decide not to stop, you need to live with your decision. In all the years I raced, we were waved past the scales once. One time. And it really made no difference to me, because we were running in mineshaft conditions at Baytown, it was a qualifying pass and I had told Brian to stick the car in 5th and lift. I was planning to drive by anyway, since we hadn't picked up. But that single instance is the only time I ever remember NHRA waving people past the scales.
Those cars are fickle women, believe me. What might look like very minor occurrences can have dramatic effect on the cars. Look what the normalized tubing did for the cars. It gave the tuners a much wider window, until the day the car decided it had shook one too many times. Shake the tires on a T/F car and you better start checking the forward wing struts, because they have likely banana'ed. Get the front end up in the air and strike the tires, you better start checking everything forward of the driver's box. In the mid to late 90's, before the cars were using wheelie bars, I could watch a race on Sunday and know exactly how many nose wings, A-arms, steering boxes and tie rods I would be selling the next day. A wheelstand was worth $4,500 in replacement parts, if you can believe it. I'll not name names, but a rather eccentric Championship-winning crew chief I have a lot of respect for watched his driver get the front end up on a pass, so they came back and started checking the upper and lower rails. Sure enough, they were tweaked. So they towed the car to another trailer, where they could place the car perpendicular to the trailer, raised the trailer to get the front end under it and then used floor jacks to try to straighten the tubing. :blink:
But little things like that can drastically change how the car works. A car that might have loved a particular clutch combination might suddenly start spinning or shaking. A tuner might develop a heckuva tune-up, based on a particular combination of clutch disc hardness. Roll through that batch of discs and you're back to square one, trying to find the sweet spot on discs with a different Rockwell. Back when Bernstein was still driving, they lost the handle on the car. Bernstein let the crew chief go (can't recall who it was) and hired Lee Beard. After the first race, the car came back to the shop, where we back-halved it. They were using a new cannon design and Beard wanted the rear end closer to the motor and driver. It was a change of just 2", but it woke the car right up.
Not taking anything away from Mike Green, but I do have to wonder how much of the Alan Johnson tune-up they still have in that car. You could see Schumacher was suddenly vulnerable to tire smoke, in the latter part of the season. When I see a capable crew chief suddenly fighting tire smoke, I'm wondering about the pipe and the clutch disc recipe. The restriction on testing has gone a long way toward bringing parity to the fields, because the endless dollar teams can no longer test 20-30 times a year.
Actually, Johnny Gray did have a DNQ during the Lee Beard era. He was 18th at Baytown.
As for Austin Coil coming back, I question it. He claims he's having problems trying to keep up with doing nothing these days. My guess is he'll end up with a state-of-the-art Nostalgia Funny Car for Lisa to drive. I can't blame guys like Coil and Bernstein for wanting to get away. From the outside looking in, being on the road with a race car looks glamorous. But it really isn't. It's a tremendous amount of work and everyone gets to a point where they would like to get their clothes out of a closet, rather than a suitcase. The road wears everyone down, sooner or later. And then you get trapped. You spend one year's sponsorship dollars on a new home, so you have to knuckle under and spend every dime trying to make up for the year you lost. You know if you don't perform, you'll lose your gravy train. After a couple years of spending every dime you have, you get tired of racing and want to quit, but you don't have any cash left. So you sign the deal for another 3 years and take that first year's money to try to recoup. Which means come year 2, you're back to the grind, trying to make the car perform again, so you can keep your deal alive. Glidden once told me he couldn't quit, because he had wrapped a fortune up in the race team and if he were to try and sell it, he was going to take a bath. So he had no real option, other than to keep playing the game. You see Fram splashed down the side of Spencer Massey's car and you wonder what the Don gets from Fram. But what you're missing is how much Massey is paying the Don to drive that car. The only thing you know for sure is that Massey was willing to pay more than Cory Mac. Everybody gets trapped in the money machine.
I think a lot of people will scream at the thought, but I would really like to see NHRA turn the time machine back to 1970. Let's get all the cars back to using an 6-71 blower, a maximum 20% overdrive, a single, 21 gallon fuel pump with no overdrive, a single, point-type mag, a 3.90 rear gear, a 2-speed trans, allow data loggers but no computer control of any function and keep rear spoilers below the roofline. Yes, it would slow the cars down considerably, but it would let them return to 1320 foot racing. And are fans there to see John Force run 4.10 1000 foot times, or are the fans there to see John Force race a competitor to the finish line? I'm betting the average fan would be excited to hear one of those cars run on a full load, rather than the 90% they have to run today. And make no mistake, there are some scary racetracks out there, so slowing the cars down would increase the safety factor by a bunch.
But NHRA being NHRA, they'll never consider it. Why try to save everyone a bit of money, when they are clear off the tracks with their own money train?