Last night I was licking my toad (not a euphemism), which enables me to speak with God. Funny story, He likes to be called "the Dude" and calls me "Doc." So I said "Dude, what's the deal with humans anyway?"
"Humans? What are those?"
"C'mon Dude, you created them just 5000 years ago."
"Oh, yeah! Doc, I've created trillions of sentient races in my day, so excuse me if I forget some of my mistakes."
"Well, why did you create them?"
"It was a dark and stormy night in Heaven and I was bored. Then I thought "I'll create a race and give them Free Will and see what happens." As you know I like to run the show, but I decided to let these little buggers make their own decisions. And I sprinkled some old bones and fossils around so the humans would invent evolution and think they were descended from monkeys, which I also created because they are just so fun to watch."
"That's it? You were bored?"
"Life in Heaven isn't all fun and games, you know."
"Ok, so now what happens?"
"Well, as you know the Dude is omniscient, so I can see all and, well, it's not good. Humans trash their planet, which I created and gave them, and now they are going to exterminate themselves."
"That's terrible! Can't you stop it?"
"Sure, but I gave them Free Will and they made their choices. Who am I to intervene?"
"Dude! You're the almighty, the creator, the King of Kings, the big Kahuna, master of all space and time!"
"Just not feeling it. Let them go the way of the Dodo, which was, in hindsight, not one of my best ideas either."
"Please! I just got the latest iPhone!"
"Sorry, the Dude chooses to start over with another race, but this time I will give them Free Will 2.0, which is just like Free Will, except I will smite all the bad guys and turn them into toads."
"Oh. I'm loving this plan! But you're gonna have lots of toads. Can I have some? They lose their taste after the first lick."
"Jeeze, sorry, Doc, but you're not part of the new race. You're going to die with the rest of humanity."
"Bummer. Well, I gotta get some shuteye, I have monster trucks and strip clubs tomorrow."
"Ah, FYI those things will never be invented by the new race. But I will start them off with Velcro and root beer, about the only things the humans got right. Sleep tight, Doc."