Lost my best friend today
- Thread starter Mike
- Start date
old round fart
Well-Known Member
I feel your pain. Bless you.
Don'tCallMeJimmie
Member
Sorry you are in this place Mike.
One of life's cruel jokes is that those we receive the most unconditional love from are those that are here for such a short time.
One of life's cruel jokes is that those we receive the most unconditional love from are those that are here for such a short time.
Sorry for your loss Mike. I know how attached we become to our pets. They become some of our best friends.
Hey, Mike;
Things I have learned the hard way:
(& you may want to re-read this in ~ 2 wks, & again in ~ 2mo).
I can relate to how you're feeling; I said goodbye to my cat Shadow in late '03. That hurt like hell for 6+months.
The amount of pain we go though from a loss (separation), is directly proportional to the love/bond that was broken. Interestingly, if I dwell on that moment, I can recreate the pain & depression that followed, but when I focus & dwell on the good memories, I can recreate the good & comforting feeling(s) I had when Shadow was alive. Grieving for a pet is at least as important as for any other loved one, ( I say this, because a pets' affection is given freely, unlike a lot of humans, (unfortunately), as the loss is very real. Take the time you need, to do it when & as you need. There is no mechanical process, nor time line, although there are some helpful pamphlets for this. This is important: the pain will subside, but by acknowledging, accepting & then letting go of the pain (of the loss), you in *no* way are letting go of the memory of kitty. In fact, you will find that it's easier to remember the good times & things with & about kitty.
.
For what it's worth: It sounds like you were *extremely* close to kitty, so this may be difficult to replicate, (the tighter the emotional bond, the harder it is to do) but it's worth trying. If it doesn't work at 1st, *don't* force it, just let it flow. It is: notice (when you're not thinking about kitty), from just near the outside edge of your vision, you will see momentary movements/shadows. You may see a partial image (like a quick flash) of kitty, usually near her favorite spots, or walking areas. When you try to focus on the image, it'll disappear, so try to resist moving your attention to that image. Just mentally take notice, smile, & say "Hi kitty (her name), thanks for dropping by". It is, quite literally, her spirit, that you catch a glimpse of (still concerned about you & not yet ready to leave this plane). Also, when going to bed at night, sit quietly on the edge of the bed, clear your mind of thoughts & noise for a minute or so, think nicely about kitty, & then speaking quietly, ask kitty to come to you in your dreams & visit, or, that you would welcome a visit in your dreams. Most likely, it'll happen just after you fall asleep (maybe), or (probably) just before you wake up in the morning, in that not-asleep-but-not-awake time.
I have had these things happen to me from at least 3 pets. The best was; Shadow visited one night, & walked across my stomach, carefully, all ~ 13lbs of him, then curled up next to me - after he dropped against me hard, & purred loudly. I could feel his weight, soft fur, & his physical bulk, & hear the purrs. When I woke up too much, he was gone. He had died in my arms 3->4 months earlier.
If you can, find a quiet spot in the sunshine for a few minutes or so(maybe a half hour, if you can?), & sit there w/a pic or two of kitty, & find some peace. It'll be there.
FWIW: When you cross over, kitty will be there to welcome you, if you want. .
HTH.
Peace.
Marcus...
Things I have learned the hard way:
(& you may want to re-read this in ~ 2 wks, & again in ~ 2mo).
I can relate to how you're feeling; I said goodbye to my cat Shadow in late '03. That hurt like hell for 6+months.
The amount of pain we go though from a loss (separation), is directly proportional to the love/bond that was broken. Interestingly, if I dwell on that moment, I can recreate the pain & depression that followed, but when I focus & dwell on the good memories, I can recreate the good & comforting feeling(s) I had when Shadow was alive. Grieving for a pet is at least as important as for any other loved one, ( I say this, because a pets' affection is given freely, unlike a lot of humans, (unfortunately), as the loss is very real. Take the time you need, to do it when & as you need. There is no mechanical process, nor time line, although there are some helpful pamphlets for this. This is important: the pain will subside, but by acknowledging, accepting & then letting go of the pain (of the loss), you in *no* way are letting go of the memory of kitty. In fact, you will find that it's easier to remember the good times & things with & about kitty.
.For what it's worth: It sounds like you were *extremely* close to kitty, so this may be difficult to replicate, (the tighter the emotional bond, the harder it is to do) but it's worth trying. If it doesn't work at 1st, *don't* force it, just let it flow. It is: notice (when you're not thinking about kitty), from just near the outside edge of your vision, you will see momentary movements/shadows. You may see a partial image (like a quick flash) of kitty, usually near her favorite spots, or walking areas. When you try to focus on the image, it'll disappear, so try to resist moving your attention to that image. Just mentally take notice, smile, & say "Hi kitty (her name), thanks for dropping by". It is, quite literally, her spirit, that you catch a glimpse of (still concerned about you & not yet ready to leave this plane). Also, when going to bed at night, sit quietly on the edge of the bed, clear your mind of thoughts & noise for a minute or so, think nicely about kitty, & then speaking quietly, ask kitty to come to you in your dreams & visit, or, that you would welcome a visit in your dreams. Most likely, it'll happen just after you fall asleep (maybe), or (probably) just before you wake up in the morning, in that not-asleep-but-not-awake time.
I have had these things happen to me from at least 3 pets. The best was; Shadow visited one night, & walked across my stomach, carefully, all ~ 13lbs of him, then curled up next to me - after he dropped against me hard, & purred loudly. I could feel his weight, soft fur, & his physical bulk, & hear the purrs. When I woke up too much, he was gone. He had died in my arms 3->4 months earlier.
If you can, find a quiet spot in the sunshine for a few minutes or so(maybe a half hour, if you can?), & sit there w/a pic or two of kitty, & find some peace. It'll be there.
FWIW: When you cross over, kitty will be there to welcome you, if you want.
.HTH.
Peace.
Marcus...
Very sorry. Mine is curled up next to me as I write this.
Mike
Well-Known Member
Well, I've found reason to laugh again. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Cricket -
She is just 3.5 months and is 100%, totally, completely, all kitten. Within 3 minutes of me opening the door to her carrier, she was playing with that ball. She jumps into whatever room I am in, demanding to be petted, then she jumps back out again, to explore her new home. And before I know it, bang, she is back again. She seems to think my feet are chew-toys, but the bleeding has finally stopped. I do hope she will settle in and sleep, tonight, the way she is bouncing off the walls and ceiling just the now.
She is just 3.5 months and is 100%, totally, completely, all kitten. Within 3 minutes of me opening the door to her carrier, she was playing with that ball. She jumps into whatever room I am in, demanding to be petted, then she jumps back out again, to explore her new home. And before I know it, bang, she is back again. She seems to think my feet are chew-toys, but the bleeding has finally stopped.
I do hope she will settle in and sleep, tonight, the way she is bouncing off the walls and ceiling just the now.Hey, Mike;
Glad you found another to love ( & be loved in return ). & rather cute, too. Our capacity too love is really unlimited, isn't it? . The more you give the more you get. . &, kittens being as amusing as they are, well... . & now you can enjoy that "owned" feeling once again. After all, don't we exist just to serve the cat world? At least they think so... . ( Says my ex-stray ornery garage cat trying to be an indoor cat [w/wifes' help] ) .
Marcus...
Glad you found another to love ( & be loved in return ). & rather cute, too. Our capacity too love is really unlimited, isn't it?
. The more you give the more you get. . &, kittens being as amusing as they are, well... . & now you can enjoy that "owned" feeling once again. After all, don't we exist just to serve the cat world? At least they think so... . ( Says my ex-stray ornery garage cat trying to be an indoor cat [w/wifes' help] ) .Marcus...
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